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[04 Nov 2009|04:22pm] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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Surgery tomorrow. Really really nervous. I'm torn between just wanting it over and wanting to postpone it for months and months. Not looking forward to being poked & prodded, drugged up and cut open. Really on edge and shakey. Also terrified that I'll be that 1% where this isn't benign. Noooot a good night.
Send some good thoughts my way tomorrow morning, please?
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| PSA |
[04 Oct 2009|12:32pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Ladies: FEEL YOUR GODDAMN BOOBIES.
I feel like I need to talk about this to prove that you should always be aware of this sort of thing, and coming from a family that is very aware of breast cancer, I have no problems talking about breasts and medical shit that goes with them. So boys, if this will freak you out, stop reading here.
It's pretty appropriate that the first day of Breast Cancer Awareness month started my first breast cancer scare. Found something that definitely does not belong in a breast. Told myself it was nothing, until I found myself looking up breast cancer survival rates of 20 year olds, and realized I needed to tell someone. Didn't start really freaking out until my mom did, and when someone who's had breast cancer twice doesn't write this off, it's a good sign you need to get checked. So thanks to the wonderful doctors at RI Hospital, I got in first thing Friday morning for a bunch of different checks and such. Apparently this thing is 1.5 inches, which is pretty gigantic by their standards, so I was convinced I'd be getting a death sentence. But, thankfully, much poking and prodding and oh my God a needle in my boob later, I find out it's benign.
I do need surgery eventually, but as for right now, I feel like I'm seeing the world in a much better light. I am extremely sore, but I'm not dying of cancer. I cried so much just walking out of the hospital and seeing how beautiful it was that day, because I knew that I'd (hopefully) get to see so many more beautiful days and not be seeing them from inside a cancer ward. It may sound like an overreaction, but the size of this thing coupled with both my family history and the pretty dismal survival rates of young people with cancer, I was unbelievably terrified. But all's well, and I have flowers and chocolate and hugs to prove it.
Even though it's benign, my mom had something similar that doctor's told her not to worry about, but ended up hiding a pretty large tumor. So always err on the side of caution with these things, and please please PLEASE be aware of your own health.
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[02 Oct 2009|12:38pm] |
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mood |
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relieved |
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Dear Breast Cancer Awareness Month,
KNOCK IT OFF.
Thanks for the very timely reminder that breast cancer sucks, but you know what? I'm all set. Because when it comes to breast cancer, I am VERY. FUCKING. AWARE.
Thanks.
Time for sushi.
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[22 Sep 2009|03:42pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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I know I'm never on here anymore, but I promise I read all your entries (except this week, I haven't checked in a while, but I usually do). But I need to ask a favor, if for no other reason than to calm my mind a bit.
My aunt needs a biopsy, and it's nearly the exact situation my mom was in. Had a mammogram, found nothing, then checked and found something, turned out to be nothing, but that "nothing" was hiding something behind it. We're hoping that it's nothing, and if it is that she can pull through like my mom, but we're nervous. Also, the biopsy is on the anniversary of my uncle's death from cancer, which is just kicking her when she's down. Good thoughts her way would be nice.
Also, I just found out that a classmate of mine passed away. I had a class with him last semester, and he was in a class of mine this semester too. He was very close with my lab partner last year so sometimes we'd talk after class, and he was always smiling and cracking jokes. I had both of them in the class this semester, and was happy because I knew the class would have at least some light in it. He was 24. He was in class on Thursday, and today we find out he's dead. Thoughts and love sent the way of his family and friends wouldn't go unappreciated.
I've never seen an empty desk mean so much.
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[08 Jul 2009|04:40pm] |
SERIOUS WTF
So thank god I didn't go out, because out of nowhere it started DOWNPOURING here. Like, no small drizzle to start, just crazy rain. So I'm chilling in the kitchen, opening up some yogurt to snack on (nom nom) and look out the window, shaking my head at the torrential rain. Go into the living room to watch some tv, look out the big windows and...it stopped. Well, it's a lighter rain now, but it tapered off within like a minute. And is starting back up now.
WHAT THE HELL NATURE
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| raining on my parade |
[08 Jul 2009|04:18pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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music |
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"The Fame" ~ Lady Gaga |
] |
Wouldn't it be nice if weather forecasts were even somewhat accurate?
I've been trying to make walking a habit (which has been difficult lately seeing as almost every day it's been downpouring), and I figured today was gonna be a good day for it. It's been really warm and sunny all day, and weather.com said it'd be like that until about 10 tonight when it'd get cloudy. I was being lazy most of the day and doing some cleaning, but just now I finally talked myself into getting my ass outside.
I'm getting ready, and then I hear thunder. Look outside, and half the sky is that nasty thunderstorm charcoal. Check weather.com again and it still shows the same forecast, but now there are two weather statements about a severe thunderstorm warning that say to stay indoors since the storm can produce hail. But the forecast is still the same cheery LIESSSSSS.
This weather is seriously balls.
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[15 May 2009|10:25pm] |
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HEY GUYS can we please RickRoll Westboro Baptist Church? Pretty please?
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[08 May 2009|02:15pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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"Who Did You Think I Was" ~ John Mayer Trio |
] |
I'm two finals away from being a junior in college. I walked by the quad today and saw the stage set up for commencement, and it made me realize that in the time it took me to get to this point (which seemed like no time at all) I'll be graduating. Terrified. I am very lucky in some sense, considering I was unbelievably reluctant to go to my school and have come to love it completely, but there's so much I haven't done that I wouldn't mind rewinding the clock and going through these past two years another time. That thought is ridiculous to me, considering I spent the majority of my time at LaSalle wishing I was out of it (it wasn't until the end of senior year I realized what I was losing).
As for classwork, my psych labs that took up my life and were the only reasons I've pulled all nighters this semester have so far been fantastic. Today I got back my third, and aside from a missing citation she pointed out, the only marks were compliments. Her final comment was "Brilliant" and gave us a 97. I haven't seen the comments on my second to last (the last won't be graded for a while), but according to my partner we got an even 100 and some great comments. Yay ego boosting!
Calc exam tonight, which I can't seem to sit myself down and actually study for. Operation Don't Fail will be in effect once this is posted: I will be on technological lockdown and forcing myself to look at nothing but derivatives and integrals for the next four hours (read: I'll be back on LJ in about 20 minutes).
Things I need: a new ringtone and a new icon. Halp?
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[17 Feb 2009|12:04am] |
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music |
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"Ghost Town" ~ Shiny Toy Guns |
] |
I want to start a Twitter account. But the name I want is taken.
SO: Who can think of a bangin Twitter name for me?
GO
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| 2008 |
[31 Dec 2008|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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"I Got You Dancing" ~ Lady Sovereign |
] |
So. 2008.
I finished off my first year of college confused and lost when it comes to the future, but incredibly happy with URI and the people I've met there. I finished the year with grades that, while they can always be better, are still something to be proud of. I got to spend a lot more time with my niece and nephew, which was something I really needed. I got to hold my brand new niece when she was only hours old, and I became a godmother. I watched her crawl for the very first time, made her laugh, and calmed her when she cried. We had our highs and we had our lows, but I'm starting 2009 even more happy and in love with the same wonderful person I started 2007 and 2008 with. I've grown much closer to some people and felt what it's like to be suddenly distanced from others I considered my closest friends. On the other hand, I've been separated from some for months because of school and felt like they never left once we were all back together. I got a job that I complain about incessantly but has been pretty good to me so far. I've become much more independent and confident in myself.
There were some pretty amazing highs and some crushing lows this year, but I'm pretty happy how it turned out. Bring it on, 2009.
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[04 Nov 2008|05:30pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
] |
GO VOTE!!!!!
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| *boils to death* |
[03 Jun 2008|04:39pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
] |
You know what's really fun?
Having the air conditioner broken in your house and no fans for your room so the temperature in your room is literally 90 degrees according to the digital thermometer.
This sucks.
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| :D |
[29 May 2008|01:08am] |
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[27 May 2008|02:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hot |
] |
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music |
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"Imagine" ~ John Lennon |
] |
My hair is in pigtails. I haven't been able to do that for foreverrrrr. I can't stop playing with my hair, it's so crazy. Anyway.
I really really need a job. But I'm too nervous that there won't be any or that I won't find anything that I can't bring myself to go and ask for applications. It's ridiculous, but I get all anxious about it, it's horrible. I'm also terrified I'll do the job wrong or something. Maybe it's fear of rejection or something, but regardless, I should know better as a Psych major.
Speaking of, I really don't want to keep majoring in Psych but I can't decide what to major in instead. It's stressing me pretty bad.
The air conditioning in my house isn't working so it's all hot and nasty in here.
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| ALERT ALERT ALERT |
[20 May 2008|07:31pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
] |
HAY
I'm having a cookout at my house on Saturday for my birthday (which is on Sunday but I'm not gonna be around). Nothing fancy, just some family and friends. And the baby. And chocolate cake.
So come!!! Let me know if you can, so I can figure out how much food to get. Comment/IM/call/text me.
Did I mention there's free cake?
Side note: shit I have one more year until I'm in my 20s, what the hell happened.
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[01 May 2008|12:31pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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HEY EVERYONE.
Keep July 17-18 open, because The Dark Knight comes out on the 18th and will probably have a midnight show and YOU'D ALL BETTER GO WITH ME BECAUSE IT'S SO BADASS.
The end.
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[21 Apr 2008|08:56pm] |
QUESTION
I got mail and stuff from the National Society of Collegiate Scholars because apparently my GPA last semester was enough to qualify me or something. And while an honor's society would look good and all that, you have to pay a decent amount of money to join, and I don't know what being a part of this would do overall.
I just got an email from them (that my email client actually had a box pop up on saying "Thunderbird thinks this may be a scam," so who knows) asking if I was declining, but I'm not sure what I should do.
Opinions?
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[15 Apr 2008|10:33pm] |
I'm probably going to get my hair cut like this.
y/n?
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| Jillian |
[17 Mar 2008|05:40pm] |
Yeah, she's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen.
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